I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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