my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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