thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
