can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
