i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
