I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
