this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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