Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
