i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
