he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
