id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
