I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
