Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
