Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize