ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
