I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
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