i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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