I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm passing your future prison.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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