Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
