just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
