I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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