Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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