Your dad touched me again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
