barbara walters just said penis...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You need Xanax blowdarts
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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