Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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