Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
