he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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