He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
