Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it was like eating out sand paper
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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