I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
