I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize