There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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