saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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