with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
