she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
