The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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