I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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