oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
