All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
