Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
