i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
