hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
