Do you still have your period?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
