Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
