well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
