some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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