Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize