Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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