The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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