You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
