i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
