Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
