You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
vagina is talking i cant
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
