youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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