Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
