Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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