If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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