i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
