I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
