I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize