And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
