Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize