even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize