Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
why didn't you poke me back
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
