OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
