dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i dont even know how to be here
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
