Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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