remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
